How many times did you bookmark a childhood experience with notes in the margin that said “when I am all grown up, I will do this OR I will never do that”.
These are the little footnotes we make when we are young to remind us of all the places that we wanted to explore more fully – without constraints.
We have this sixth sense that there is so much more to us, but well-intentioned or misguided adults set limits on that personal investigation. There is a famous quote from Charles Bukowski that captures this conundrum:
Can you remember who you were before the world told you who to be?
It would be so wise for us to sit down and reflect on all those childhood bookmarks and footnotes as we are preparing to venture out into the world as young adults, but this is not a common practice.
Remember when you were little, standing so defiantly in the doorway, hands on your hips and declaring to mom or dad “You are not the boss of me!”
Now, when you truly are your own boss, you find yourself biting your tongue, making yourself small, going along to get along. You even smile and say yes when inside there is a part of you defiantly telling you to say no. After all, you have better things to do.
If you feel conflicted, it’s because you’ve created a plot twist in your own story arc.
When you were young, you made those notes in the margins of your life to serve as guideposts for the future — the future you saw for yourself and wanted to explore with all your heart.
Yet here you are, well into your life, telling parts of yourself to simmer down and stop distracting you while you are busy adulting.
Those noisy inner parts of you are your childhood bookmarks and footnotes come to life. They want to remind you that you can write your own story now – and they have some pretty awesome ideas to flesh out.
We hear so much chatter these days about discovering our authentic self and claiming our agency, but it all seems rather mystical and far from practical. Who has time for that?
The truth is that we are spending far too much of our adult time and energy tangled up and making our life harder than it has to be. We keep trying to hush the very voices that are now demanding their rightful place in our lives. Those little voices are simply telling us who is now the real boss of us.
You are the boss of you! Isn’t that awesome? Isn’t that what you have always dreamed of when you were little?
Do you know the working definition of “empowerment”?
Empowerment is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.
It turns out that all this wise counsel we are getting about discovering our authentic self and stepping into our agency is exactly what we need most. When we stop ignoring the parts of us that have something really worthwhile to share, we begin reclaiming what’s deeply personal and important to us.
We knew this intuitively as kids. We bookmarked it for the life we wanted to build when we were all grown up.
If we were all given “who do you want to be be when you grow up” journals when we were kids, we’d curl up with our footnotes and bookmarks as adults, fondly remembering what lit us up, what we longed for and how we imagined our futures.
We would not be afraid to revisit these cliff notes – we’d cherish them and discover they are footholds for the life we most want to be living.
Personal growth and self-discovery is that organic process of empowerment. It occurs slowly and naturally as you practice getting stronger and more confident about what matters most to you.
When a part of you seems to be tugging at your adult shirtsleeve, begging you to listen — accept that invitation. You may be reminded of the childhood notes you wrote in the margins for your future self to read.
