Trailheads & Pivot Points

When a major life event feels like it could be measured on the Richter Scale

Today will be the climactic pinnacle in learning about NATALIE Moments – the ones that rock our world and leave us no choice but to reinvent ourselves and build a “new normal”. 

NATALIE Moments is a term coined by author Jim Collins to remind us that Not All Time In Life is Equal. 

Let’s begin with a recap: some NATALIE Moments are bumps in the road of life. That unexpected trip to the ER for stitches or a cast for our kid in the midst of a baseball game or Easter egg hunt. The over-heated car engine midway through a family road-trip to the Grand Canyon that becomes a dead end or major detour. These small-scale NATALIE Moments can stop us in our tracks and summon us to take action to resolve an unexpected and immediate crisis. 

Some NATALIE moments are golden opportunities. They require us to make the most of our good luck by doing some double-duty, burning the midnight oil, making time for something BIG when we already feel like there is never enough time.

I shared the story of 23-year old Michael J. Fox devoting his time and energy to two major roles at once: Daily rehearsals and live taping as Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties and then shifting into gear instead of going home – and taking on a second job. The golden opportunity of playing the lead role in Spielberg’s Back To the Future movie. Michael J. Fox dug deep into his inner resources to pull out all the stops and tackle two major acting roles at once – for a period of several months. 

We might call this double duty, “pushing through”. Most of us have likely experienced these positive NATALIE Moments in our life. Have you pursued an educational certification while holding down your full time job, raising kids and coaching little league? Have you built a house or a business, all while living in the old one or staying in your current job? We often straddle our golden opportunities with a keen awareness that it is a good investment in the short run for longer term benefits. We believe we are “pushing through”, but the reality is that we are energized, motivated and powered up. We can give the extra effort needed for a period of time to achieve the goal. 

Today, we turn our attention to NATALIE Moments so seismic we do believe they could be measured on the Richter scale. They rock our world. 

These NATALIE Moments have such a huge impact that we are forced to accept a new reality and adapt to the fissure it’s created. For Michael J. Fox, it was being diagnosed with Parkinson’s at age 29. Six years prior, Michael was playing two very demanding and distinctively different roles for a TV sitcom and what would become an iconic movie. Now he faced the biggest challenge of his life and it absolutely altered his present and future. 

Many of us have also experienced these cliffhangers in our own lives. Unexpected life events that alter our course and trajectory. Things are not the same and we have no recourse but to accept that reality and adapt to meet the challenge. 

The Parkinson’s diagnosis didn’t stop Michael J. Fox from acting; in fact he still shows up in cameo roles often playing a character with Parkinson’s. He was recently featured on Apple TV’s hit series Shrinking with Harrison Ford (whose character also has Parkinson’s). The Parkinson’s NATALIE Moment expanded Michael’s outreach far beyond acting. He has become the face of Parkinson’s for decades and a champion of research, a source of incredible hope and inspiration for others. Michael J. Fox used that devastating NATALIE Moment to have a huge impact for others in a very positive way. He reinvented and reimagined his role.

Take some time to reflect on your own life-changing NATALIE Moments. When did you face something so adversarial and challenging, that you had no choice but to face it directly and reinvent yourself? For me, one of those moments was a breast cancer diagnosis just as I was turning 40. Another came just 10 years later, when my dear husband passed away suddenly. Two huge NATALIE Moments that left me no choice but to start from scratch and build new normals. 

When I share Michael J. Fox’s story about his Parkinson’s diagnosis at age 29, you may think that his re-invention happened rather quickly. After all, when we think of him today, we see a dynamic, energetic man who fights for his cause with vigor and resiliency. However, Jim Collins reveals that it took Michael seven long and grueling years to grapple with the transformation. Adapting to major life changes takes time. It also requires a lot of deep self-reflection. We discover things about ourselves that we didn’t even know were possible or that we are capable of when we go deep.

In his book, What to Make of a Life, Jim Collins shares research in a very unique way. He takes two people who have similar life stories, and shares how they dealt with their life-changing NATALIE Moments. In almost every case, this transformation and reinvention does take an average of seven years. 

You may not know that Maurice White, who created the renowned band Earth Wind & Fire suffered a similar fate as Michael J. Fox – and about the same time! Here was a vibrant, dynamic musical talent and visionary stopped in his tracks with a Parkinson’s diagnosis. Maurice, like Michael, spent a long time in the fog of this peril before adapting to the reality and forging a new way of life for himself and the band. 

What I can tell you for certain is that most of us will face a seismic NATALIE Moment at some point in our lifetime. There are countless inspirational stories to give us courage and hope in those critical moments when we must face the hardest moments in our lives. We can do hard things. Sometimes we will have no choice. 

Many others have gone before us and struggled with the very same crisis we may face. Many of these people are very close at hand – they run support groups, champion causes, are community volunteers and advocates. They are the very helpers that Mister Rogers told us to look for – when we are scared, can’t find our way out or need a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have a dear friend who faced a NATALIE Moment a few years ago when her husband was diagnosed with dementia. She had no choice but to face the facts and make really hard decisions and slowly, day by day, ease herself into a new normal all while experiencing a whole array of discomforting decisions and emotions. That long run was bumpy but she just kept taking small steps, one good decision followed by another. Today my friend who is now widowed leads several support groups and serves as both an inspiration and trusted advisor to others in the memory care community. Just like Michael J. Fox, she discovered that she could make a difference by emerging from her adversity transformed in dynamic ways.

Please remember that our life-changing NATALIE Moments are not insurmountable. Many others have had the same experiences. Look to these inspirational, courageous people for the footholds to support you. Trust that you can reinvent and reimagine yourself and that it takes time. Summon the courage, fortitude and energy to process and rebuild.

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