Not All Time In Life is Equal — NATALIE Moments (a phrase coined by Jim Collins)
The dynamic author, Jim Collins, has coined a phrase that reminds us to cash in on the NATALIE moments that show up often unexpectedly in our lives. Jim describes NATALIE moments as episodes of outsized opportunity or peril that call for summoning a level of energy and focus beyond our normal set point.
Most of us have experienced NATALIE moments but we didn’t have a name for them. What strikes me is that when we have language for what we are experiencing, we can also bring the right tools and mindset to the occasion.
It is often when we least expect it that these NATALIE moments show up in our lives. We are chugging along, doing the best we can and then we get hit with something big. I love that word “summon” that Jim uses because it captures precisely what happens: We dig deep and find that extra energy, courage or tenacity to meet the moment.
Just a few hours or minutes before that NATALIE moment shows up, we might believe that we cannot handle one more thing on our plate. Yet, here we are – face to face with a demand so big that it cannot be ignored. We find our reserve tank and tap into it.
Some NATALIE moments are smaller than others for sure. But take some time to reflect on how you actually were able to summon up your inner resources in spite of the fact that just moments before you thought you were running on fumes:
- You are watching your kid play baseball, when time seems to slow down as you watch a pop fly heading straight for their perfect little nose. You will soon be at the ER and adjusting your schedule to meet the moment.
- You are on a family vacation when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Just minutes before the kids were fighting over the car snacks and asking repeatedly how much longer. Now you are rallying the troops to face reality and adjust the plans.
- You get that rare opportunity to take the lead in a big project. You know this could lead to a promotion and jump in salary. But it also means that you’ll have to travel or put in overtime for a while. How will you balance the opportunity with the strain it will take on your family?
Jim Collins wants us to remember that “not all time in life is equal”. There will often be times in our life when we have to give more for an extended period of time. We can and will make adjustments to m get the demands of the moment. The flex is to be consciously aware and to reframe things to keep it in perspective. It is in the NATALIE moments of life that we learn to ask for help, to summon inner strength and to set realistic expectations.
We want to be cognizant of our capacity to handle life’s hiccups. What we may not realize is the impact that our self talk has when it comes to maintaining some reserve for these unplanned and unexpected NATALIE moments. I turn to the work of RaQuel Hopkins, the Capacity Expert, to help me get a grip on building and maintaining mental, emotional and relational capacity.
Very recently, RaQuel has been on a mission to help us get a grip on how we talk to ourselves and others. She’s come to realize that if we are constantly reminding ourselves that we lack capacity, have no bandwidth, are having panic attacks or feel stressed out – it is the equivalent of having slow leaks in our reserve tanks. When those NATALIE Moments show up in life, we will have nothing left to give. We will feel tapped out.
How we talk to ourselves can set us up for success and keep our reserve tanks at the ready. RaQuel would remind us that words matter. Use stronger language that builds capacity and reap the benefits. Stop draining your capacity with negative self-talk.
Once you start to pay closer attention to the small, common NATALIE moments of every day, you will come to recognize them as reps you can put in to prepare for the inevitable bigger NATALIE moments of your life. The future does belong to those who prepare for it.
Just as we would do advance preparation for a hurricane or snowstorm, we can do the same for our inner resources. Take stock of how much control you actually do have over your thoughts, emotions and reactive behaviors to the everyday influx of ups and downs.
When you start telling yourself that you can handle disruptions, disappointments and schedule changes with more capacity and better choices – you are building that stockpile of inner resources.
Tell yourself that you can do hard things, that you can meet small moments in life with grace and generosity, that you are adaptable and resourceful when it comes to changes in plans.
Begin to pay closer attention to your body budget. Are you getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods and staying hydrated throughout the day? Are you taking some beneficial, restorative brain breaks? Do you build in transition time between activities and re-entries into home and work environments? These small, consistent practices help you strengthen your “bounce-back” tenacity and resilience.
Another helpful tip for building your mental, emotional and relational capacity is to do a little inventory at the end of each day. Make a mental note – or better yet – a journaled note, of the small NATALIE Moments you experienced during the day. As Dr. Rick Hanson would advise: take in the good. Reflect on how well you met those NATALIE Moments and stay with those rock solid, good feelings in your body for 30 seconds or more. Taking in the good is the counter balance that keeps you out of negative bias and negative self talk.
Today’s introduction to NATALIE Moments is bite-sized. Starting small with this concept of episodes of unexpected or unanticipated disruptions in life helps us integrate basic knowledge and skills to handle them without freaking out.
In tomorrow’s post, I’ll share a real life examples of BIG, TRANSFORMATIONAL NATALIE MOMENTS that Jim Collins discusses in his book What to Make of a Life. A perfect example is Michael J. Fox – who did double duty for a long stint early in his acting career. Proof positive that sometimes, we do pull all-nighters and go the extra mile — because the opportunity is ripe.
For now, just focus on the smaller, bite-sized opportunities that show up in your day to day life — and work on building your capacity to deal with uncertainty, seize the moment and be agile enough to adapt to a new reality in a heartbeat.
You’ve got this! Coach yourself up with affirmative actions: positive self talk, a reminder that you can do hard things, and that you’re stocking up on the ability to meet life with deeper inner reserves.
Noteworthy Resources:
Be sure to check out Parts 2 and 3 about NATALIE Moments which are in subsequent blog posts here on the website.
