It jumped right off the page! This brilliant insight about our path in life and how each step of the way can help us grow in the most unexpected ways.
I cannot wait to share it with you:
“Instead of a linear model that evokes moving determinedly in just one direction, I’ve started to imagine the shape of the path to liberation as akin to a double helix, with strands that wrap around each other almost as a kind of twisted ladder. It’s a path that is more integrated and circular, with elements crossing over at multiple points, reciprocally and magically.” – Sharon Salzberg (excerpted from her book Real Life).
The reason that this beautiful insight resonates so deeply with me is that I have launched a new website as a dynamic resource for a lifetime of personal growth. I’ve built it on a mental image, a metaphor from nature, to provide footholds all along the way. It is an expansive range of mountains, with incredible vistas. A fresh take on how we engage with our one most precious and wild life (that’s a hat tip to the wise poet, Mary Oliver).
Anyone who has ever taken a hike on an irresistibly inviting mountain trail will know how thrilling it feels to get started, to be full of wonder about what might be discovered and how you’ll challenge yourself along the way.
This is precisely the invitation that Sharon Salzberg is offering in her book Real Life. It is her take on how we make the most of our journey through life, picking up nuggets of wisdom, stopping to marvel at the expansiveness all around us, pushing through when things take the wind out of our sails, taking cover when an unexpected storm moves in. We do in fact traverse up a mountain on an integrated and circular path.
If you happen to love nature and accept that call to explore the wild, you will no doubt hike that mountain many times over the course of a year, or even your lifetime. How many different trailheads are there? Which one best suits your adventure today; which one will you challenge yourself with next week?
Sharon tells us that to journey well through life, we have the opportunity to engage with it in a deep-tissue kind of way. More self-acceptance, more self-compassion and more being consciously aware.
Isn’t it so true that when we go out for a hike, we do lean into the experience in a whole-hearted kind of way. We plan, we stuff our backpack, we put on the right shoes for the elements and terrain. We have a plan and a goal in mind. We prepare ourselves as much as possible; and we are well aware that something unexpected may arise. It can test our mettle and that feels invigorating. We might even say to ourselves “bring it on!”
Sharon writes about it this way: “To journey well, instead of being driven by perpetual discontent, anxieties and battling with reality because of a sense of deficiency, we are increasingly accepting and loving of ourselves and others. The journey becomes more about: “what choices will lead me to greater integration and wholeness?”
Can you picture yourself resting on a mountainside plateau, reflecting on just how far you’ve already come in your life? Can you use this restful perch as a check-in point to take stock of what you are made of, how you do face challenges and the obstacles you’ve overcome, the goals you have set for yourself right now? Give yourself credit for your journey.
Even Maslow went back and revisited his original thinking about his model of the hierarchy of our needs. He came to realize that this hierarchy wasn’t nearly as rigid as he originally thought. We do not need to completely fulfill one level before we move onto the next.
Just as Sharon reveals in that double helix, we fashion ourselves a braided lifeline that helps us climb and descend with skill, care and observation.
Personal growth is not linear; it is a constant building and braiding; trial and error; start over, pick up where you left off, try something new, challenge yourself and take stock of where you’ve been and where you are going.
Far from linear, or sticking to the straight and narrow, checking off boxes in some orderly fashion — it is much more like taking hikes and dropping in fully to the experience.
I will pull a thread from that double helix to remind you that we are often better mentally prepared, better resourced and equipped, for that hike in the mountains than we are for our day to day awareness of self-discovery and personal growth. We sleepwalk through our daily lives, while we are much more consciously present on a nature hike.
That is Sharon Salzberg’s point; her nugget of wisdom.
She shares that when we “wander” as consciously as we can, it does not matter whether we succeed or fail, it is making our moments count. Not missing the mile markers, the lessons learned, the rest stops that help us reflectively take stock of our journey.
I was delighted to discover today as I read Real Life, that Sharon quoted one of my favorite cognitive psychologists, Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman. Scott unpacks more of Maslow’s “re-thinking” about his original theory on human needs. Scott shares that Maslow “made it very clear that human development is a constant developmental process where we move two steps forward, and then we fall back a step.”
Scott reminds us that our personal development is not a video game, where we reach one level and then move onto the next. We won’t be hearing “Congrats, you’ve unlocked “esteem” and never have to worry about that again!”
I hope you are chuckling a little to yourself right now, as you come to realize that our self esteem gets dinged often in life. We do have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back in the arena. But we aren’t starting from scratch – we have some miles of growth and self-awareness to build on.
Take some time today to reflect on how you can shift your mindset about personal growth. It is a dynamic process that can be much more evolved than we make it. Each day is an opportunity to invest in our personal growth, in our future self, in growing forward with greater self-awareness.
As Sharon Salzberg reminds us, being more consciously aware and present each day is the life trail that gives us greater traction and expansive vistas.
Noteworthy Resources:
