We think more about the grade of gasoline for our cars than we do what’s fueling our lives
Do you know Joe Hudson, a master coach, whose teachings draw from ancient contemplative traditions, modern neuroscience, and psychology? If you have never heard of him, you are in for a treat today. Joe is the kind of person who has a lingering effect on people. Once you have encountered him, you just want to spend more time soaking up what he has to teach. You might say he has a magnetic personality.
But the real magnetic attraction is how he rapidly shifts us into wanting to drive our lives with crystal clean fuel.
Most of us have never given a second thought to the quality of fuel we are using to drive our lives.
Yet we do know that we often feel sluggish when it comes to achieving our goals, that we sputter and spurt in our relationships, that we run on fumes all too often.
Joe would listen to us tell our tales of woe for a few minutes and then ask a very poignant question: “What fuels you?”
That single question becomes a pivotal pit stop.
What is driving you? What kind of fuel is powering how you are getting there?
Let’s be honest, we do race around, pedal to the metal, without stopping to consider if we are on the right track or how many laps we’ve taken without getting anywhere. We are often driven to madness by dirty fuel, choking thoughts and flat behavioral patterns with no sustainable traction.
Joe and his wife cofounded the Art of Accomplishment to fast-track optimal ways to build your life and fuel it. Joe is a master at rapid coaching. Think of him as the dynamic leader of your personal pit crew — who can pick up instantaneously on what is slowing you down in life. Joe would tell you that there’s no time to waste. Get right with your life and start using clean fuel.
Joe is a key driver of the pivotal change that is rapidly occurring in the personal development field. He wants us to step away from the traditional approaches to self improvement and embrace self-knowledge. It is the most empowering, fastest way to begin living our lives with agency and avoiding the roadblocks, potholes and detours we unconsciously create.
Joe’s Act of Accomplishment website and YouTube channel has the tagline: End the war with yourself.
Did that make you slam the brakes and come to a complete stop?
Joe is well aware that most of our trouble stems from the fact that we are getting in our own way. We are running on flat tires, choking on self-defeating self talk and filling our tanks with dirty fuel.
Are you fueling yourself with anger? Anger can be a dirty fuel. It might get you out of the gate, but it will cause you to sputter and smoke. The engine of your life cannot run clean on the dirty fuel of anger.
I listened so intently as Joe shared with Rich Roll on his podcast that so many of us are fueled by all the wrong things. We have this big misconception about what is working and what isn’t – but we never stop to consider if we are running on clean or dirty fuel.
Like a master mechanic in the pit, Joe spots the problem immediately and gets right to the heart of it. Our emotions are chock full of raw data and key information, but they should not be driving us. Anger alone will not get us very far. Anger is a check engine light. It burns hot and fast and leaves us powerless.
You may recall that in a recent post, I shared that Dr. Paul Conti points out that our old behavioral patterns have more control over us than any other person has. If our go-to pattern of behavior is fiery anger and blaming others – we have willingly given our personal power to someone else. Mark Manson would tell you that “who you blame is who you give your power to.”
Take a moment to look at common situation through the x-ray vision of Joe Hudson. You are angry when you get home from work and the chaos in the kitchen sets you off. You start yelling at the kids and find a million things to be annoyed about. You raise your voice, bark out marching orders, and it sends everyone scattering. Some may run for cover, one may jump as high as you demanded, one may be crying – or matching your angry and screaming as loud as you. For a hot minute, you may feel like you’ve won. You cleared the decks and got others to do your bidding. But when the dust settles, there is debris everywhere. It may be invisible to the naked eye, but trust has been broken, nervous systems have been over activated and another deep groove in unhealthy coping strategies has been made. Joe would stand there, assessing the damage caused by the dirty fuel of anger – and tell you point blank — you have engine trouble.
Joe would pull you aside and have you step back and take a closer, hard look at what you put in motion each and every time you show up in your relationships fueled by anger and blame. He’d want you to see why your best laid plans are often met with resistance from your crew. People get tired of being triggered by your anger.
Joe would also challenge you to closely inspect if you get what you really want when you are fueled by anger. Sure, people jump into action, do your bidding – but are they happy about it? Are you really getting cooperation or have they been coerced? Have you set off a chain reaction of negativity? Does your pit crew (i.e. your family members) have resentment, anger of their own? Are they putting on the brakes and doling out a lot of resistance to suggestions, ideas and even your weak attempts at accommodating their wishes?
I can just picture Joe smiling and saying that we attract more goodness with honey than vinegar. A simple reframing of a common, complex situation.
Anger is dirty fuel and leaves behind sticky, lumpy residue that sucks the joy out of being with each other and making the most of our time together.
So often, when we are fueled by anger, we rob others of their joy. We can burst a bubble of happiness and satisfaction faster than a tire pops on a nail. We flattened spirits. No one can give us what we want the most under those circumstances.
In his compelling conversation with Rich Roll on his podcast, Joe candidly states that almost daily we get in our own way — we make the very problems we are trying to solve for. We do this out of habit, unconsciously and with high hopes.
Our ineffective behavioral patterns, our emotional dis-regulation and our lack of self inquiry keeps us running on dirty fuel and experiencing far too many pitfalls.
The transformational pivot is to take short, but very effective pit stops. The first thing to check is your fuel. Are you running on clean or dirty fuel?
What is driving you? Old patterns, unchecked emotions?
Do yourself a favor today and schedule a preliminary self-knowledge check up by going to Joe’s YouTube channel. I can almost guarantee that in short order you will have increased awareness of the type of fuel you routinely fill up with – and you will upgrade to premium, clean fuel – with clear intention.
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