The “factory-installed” settings of our default negativity bias are often the primary cause of disruptive trouble. We have great difficulty seeing our glass half full when our negativity bias is always pointing out that it is really half empty.
No one ever let us in on this big secret: We can reset those baseline settings!
You know how you can customize many of the settings in your car for the preferred experience of the driver? You can do the same for your default negativity bias.
In fact, we are supposed to do just that. We just didn’t have the operator’s manual that explained that to us. Now we do!
The human default negativity bias comes pre-loaded with more emphasis on negativity with the good intention of keeping us safe, until we are able to navigate life safely on our own. Our brains are not fully developed til we reach our mid-20’s, so we have about a quarter of a century of experience with the default negativity bias acting as the safety filter.
Is it any wonder that it would seem so difficult to get in there and tinker with the baseline settings? Why fix what seems to be working?
The reality is that the baseline settings aren’t really working so smoothly, we just aren’t conscious of it. Yet, now we know that we have 6,000 or more thoughts a day and a high percentage of them are negative. We can swat at those negative thoughts all day long, but they will be as persistent as the fly we can never catch in our kitchen.
We need a higher quality filter on our default negativity bias system.
We do want to tinker with and tailor our negativity bias as we mature, once we are operating with a fully developed adult brain.
Neuroscience has shown us that when we are young, we can’t easily access the “executive function” of our brains where we use logic, reason and values to make decision about our actions and behaviors. Developing brains need adult supervision to help us learn what’s going on inside and how to use emotional levers and dials for these critical drivers of our experiences. It is only when our brain is fully developed that we can be handed the keys and become the real drivers of our life.
Just as we would change the settings in the car to match the preferred driving experience of each individual driver, we want to do the same with the baseline settings of our negativity bias.
In a recent podcast conversation with Dr. Michael Gervais, Tim Ferris (American entrepreneur and lifestyle guru) shared that he attends to his own negativity bias settings on a daily basis. It is part of his daily regimen. He catches himself when he is about to say “I have to do this today” and instead says “I get to do this today.”
This simple reframing practice tweaks his negativity bias.
Tim laughingly shared that shifting his focus from have to get seems so minor, but it has a huge impact on how he feels. It changes things from negative to positive pretty quickly.
All too often, as adults, we find ourselves complaining about the daily responsibilities that are baked into the very important goals we are wholeheartedly pursuing. That’s the negativity bias getting in our way.
Yes, we have to make the mortgage payment and fix the clogged plumbing — because we achieved our goal of owning a house. Our negativity bias makes us feel like these realities are a hinderance. When we tweak it by reframing, we realize that investing in that house doesn’t stop the day we bought it – we will continue to take care of it for a very long time. We get to do the things that bring us pride of ownership and a sense of real satisfaction for years to come.
Reframing our perspective is a multi-purpose tool that can be used in a variety of ways in our day to day life, and in our relationships.
Anytime that you are only seeing a glass half empty, reframe that experience. Can you see it as the glass half full instead?
Use this simple reframing practice to tinker with – and tailor – your default negativity bias. Make a commitment to reset it often so that you optimize for your preferred life experiences as your make new personal discoveries.
Noteworthy Resource:
Check out this awesome podcast episode with Dr. Michael Gervais and Tim Ferris. My suggestion is to listen to these longer podcasts in chunks. Just a 15 minute listen over the course of the coming week and you’ll ingest all the incredible information that is packed into this one!
