We have to catch ourselves in the act if we truly want to make a real change.
It’s harder than you think — but it can become a fun challenge.
Play a game of “catch yourself in the act” to cultivate greater self awareness. Then imagine reaching for a game card on a deck stacked in front of you. That card you draw might say “do the opposite of what you would normally do.”
If you were about to plop down on the couch and scroll through social media to unwind for a few minutes, you’d turn the phone off (or at least put it out of reach) and read a book instead. Or you could talk a short walk in nature.
If you were about to blame someone else for making you angry or losing your cool, you’d point that finger back to yourself and get curious about why you reacted that way. Imagine that you earn bonus cards for “owning it”.
Maybe you have a double standard where you hold someone else to a much higher standard but you freely give yourself some slack. In this case, you’d have to flip the scenario and cut your friend some slack while holding yourself to greater accountability.
If “catch yourself in the act” were to materialize into an actual game, it might be called Pause and Pivot.
Using a fun and challenging game concept as a mental image, helps us tremendously in cultivating greater awareness and ramping up our self-empowerment. Think of it a bit like “Opposite Day”. You are intentionally doing the opposite of what you would normally do.
Instead of unconsciously doing the same old thing without a second thought, you take a meaningful pause. You stop to actually think about making an intentional choice.
What will you do to unwind and relax? How will you meet this moment? Can you own your part in a conflict?
Pause – then pivot.
The whole “pivot” part is what makes this game fun and engaging. When we pivot, we consider the many different possibilities we have at our disposal. There are more multiple choices to choose from; make a decision and then make it the right decision.
Let’s use that mindless scrolling as a simple scenario. We reach for our phone when we are bored, need a break or have some time on our hands. Half an hour later, we look up and realize we’ve spent far more time than we wanted to going down a rabbit hole. If we did a little reality check, we might realize that instead of unwinding, we actually got worked up and feel unsettled from a steady diet of disturbing headlines.
In the game of Pause and Pivot, instead of reaching for that phone we make a different choice. We could listen to some music, read a magazine or a book, chat with a neighbor, make a “get to do” list, wash a few dishes.
Dr. Ellen Langer inspires this part of the game of Pause and Pivot. She reminds us in her book, The Mindful Body, that what people do makes sense to them. The same is true for us — what we decide to do with our time makes sense to us in the moment. But it is usually after the fact that we wish we’d done something more productive or beneficial.
Dr. Langer gently points out that we are creatures of habit – and we get in the habit of limiting ourselves. She offers a healthy dose of humor to remind us that we pigeon-hole ourselves time and again. She encourages us to cultivate greater child-like curiosity and realize that we have limitless possibilities.
Dr. Ellen Langer would be the first to tell you to “catch yourself in the act” of doing the same old thing. With a huge smile, she’d invite you to pull a card from the deck and try something quite different.
Catch yourself in the act of reaching for that phone – and pause. Then pivot. Stop to consider all the ways that you might spend 15 minutes. Choose one and go all in on it. Then, do a little self check-in and see how you feel afterwards. Did you get a hearty, healthy dopamine hit? Do you actually feel pretty awesome?
Just for fun today, play a game of Pause and Pivot. Invite your family members to join you. Dial up your self awareness just enough to “catch yourself in the act” and pause. Is what you are about to do the only choice you have? What if you did something quite different?
I’ll let you in on a little secret, this game of Pause and Pivot, feels like fun and often makes us laugh at ourselves; but just like those engaging children’s games, there are educational benefits baked right into it.
The more we challenge ourselves to break out of old habits and patterns, the better our brains operate. We begin to tap into creativity and curiosity with greater ease. Instead of pigeon-holing ourselves, we become much more flexible problem solvers and we have more fun in the process.
What will you discover about yourself today by playing “Pause and Pivot”?
